Recap

George W. Bush is in the Men’s Room reviewing his reign so far:

“Now let’s see where we’ve come, what we’ve accomplished…

• We got elected, by the Supreme Court;
• We got bombed by 19 crazy Arabian towel heads, so we invaded Iraq;
• We said there were weapons of mass destruction, but there weren’t any;
• We declared victory on board an American aircraft carrier, and now Muslim terrorists have taken over the country;
• We said Social Security was broke, but it wasn’t;
• We tried to convince the American people anyway that the only way to fix it was to throw their hard-earned money away on Wall Street, but they didn’t buy it;
• We reorganized our national and international emergency and security organizations under an umbrella called “homeland security,” but when a category four hurricane hit us the umbrella collapsed
• We have run up the biggest national budget deficit in history, over $330 billion so far, but what the heck, who’s counting?

What’s next? Who the fuck knows; it’s scary. At least we’ve run up oil prices to record levels, so all those suburban SUVs out there are just pouring money into my pockets.”